Am I wrong to want a Mother's Day card from my husband?

Ok, my husband didn't give me a mother's day card because he says I'm not his mother. I mean never mind the fact that I cook, clean, help out financially, support him emotionally AND physically, help to guide him spiritually and whatever else comes to mind. I asked my son if he told his grandmothers and aunts, Happy Mother's Day? He said no because in his mind Mother's Day is for your "own" mother. Now I believe this thinking is wrong because Mother's Day, although you are to give recognition to your own mother, you're to also give recognition to ALL mother's, whether good or bad. So I asked my husband "Can I get a Mother's Day card from you next year for your wife?" He said "Why?" I told him, For Father's Day I will still get him a card because you are my son's Step "father". Not only does he NOT get why he should but he farted in front of the fan and I threw him out of my room and told him to make his own coffee for the rest of the week. Am I wrong?

Am I wrong to want a Mother's Day card from my husband?
Of course you are 100% right. Last year, (no lie) was my worst Mother's Day ever. I got NOTHING from my husband. He told me that I didn't deserve anything. Of course, I'm not the perfect wife and mother but I try. It hurt me soo bad. I could only give myself the best Mother's Day present that I could. I braided up my little 2 girls' (they are 2 and 6 now) hair as pretty as I could and just looked at them...I was very hurt. EVERY mother that tries to be the best mother that she can--she deserves to be recognized as a mother...Happy Mother's Day! :-)
Reply:I don't think you are wrong at all.





Do you think he would consider marriage counseling?


It couldn't hurt.





Also, try this; for father's day, instead of giving him a card and gift, give him a note that says you donated the money you would have used to buy him a present and card to a charity of some kind.


It will very likely make a stronger impact on him if you give him nothing at all; while at the same time keeping him from taking advantage of your generosity.





Least, that's what I would do.
Reply:It sounds like you are just looking for a thank-you for all that you do for him, which is not unreasonable, but some people believe in the "all mothers" approach and some do not, and there's no rules on that subject. You might want to wait until you feel less freshly hurt, and then try explaining it to him without jumping on him for his own views about the holiday.





As for his bodily emissions, if he did it on purpose then absolutely you are not wrong there, that's just disgusting.
Reply:I think you are right. I got my mom, my mother-in-law and my grandmother flowers and a gift for mother's day this year. I think it's about honoring mother's...not your own specific mother. My mother-in-law sent me a gift and my mom called me to wish me a happy mother's day. That's the way we practice it.
Reply:My experience:


Do not try to get everyone involved in Mother's Day or you will set them against you. You ARE wrong and your son IS right. Only your child, or children should make this special for you - no one else. Otherwise the meaning of MOTHER is lost in the fog and it becomes just another obligation to give a gift day. There's nothing wrong for the Dad to help the child pick out a card/gift, but that's as far as the spouse or relative should go.
Reply:Are you his mother? By fishing for recognition on this particular day, you are sending the message that your relationship with him is a mother-son one.





Valentines day is the day set aside for that kind of attention from him.





However, he DOES have a responsibility to make sure your children properly revere you. This and every day.





STs!
Reply:Since you are a Mother, you should have received a card from him for your child(ren). The kids want to give you something, he should provide it. Also, he should give you a card from him signifying his appreciation for being a Mother to his kids.
Reply:I think you're wrong to expect your HUSBAND to get you a mothers day card. Do you like to be thought of as his mother? Kinda odd if you do, most wifes wouldnt want their husbands to think of them in a motherly way. Sounds like youre kinda being selfish.
Reply:um, i'm half way here.


i think it would have been nice on behalf of your husband to wish you a happy mother's day, but to go out and get you a card? .. i don't know. i would kinda hope your kids did that, but not your husband.
Reply:No.. mothers day isnt just for ur mums.. its giving any mum a great day. My dad gives my grandma and my mum flowers and prezzies.. my bro gave his wife cards and chocolate.. So mothers day is meant for all mothers everywhere.. as long as you give your own mums something too!! ..anyway.. thats up to each person individually i guess..
Reply:I bought my wife a new car for mothers day but some people have different perceptions on things. I think its the husbands duty to take care of his wife emotionally and physically in any way she seeks it. Thats just me though
Reply:I'm sorry dear.


You should tell him it would have made you happy to be recognized on mothers day by HIM.





My hubby got me flowers and a card....I got a good one(hubby)...And he's smart-he knows I will be just happier and less crabby if he does something that's nice!
Reply:Yes.


If you're husband is not your mother (which i really hope not)


then he doesn't have to get you anything. The only thing that counts during mothers' day is the cards and ill-prepared food of your lovely children.
Reply:mmm, i guess he has an excuse if you dont have children. But if you do have children, i think you have a right to be upset.
Reply:you are not wrong at all.... your husband ESPECIALLY should give you a mothers day card because he helped you become a mother..my dad gives my mom a mothers day card every year
Reply:yes. as a man i am going to say it and embrace for thumb downs. $3.99 is a stupid waste of money for a card.
Reply:i think most men would have given you a card, but then again thats kinda a weird situation since he doesnt have any kids with you (unless i read wrong).
Reply:It sounds like a mother's day card is the least of your problems. You might want to consider counseling.





Zvi the Fiddler
Reply:Well, let me put it this way: I'm glad I'm not married to you.
Reply:Yes you're wrong. You're wrong for keeping that loser.
Reply:I told my wife the same thing, and meant it. However I did ensure and help our children to "honor" their mother on "Her" day.
Reply:I gave a card to my mom and grandmother.


I think it's right to do those two.
Reply:I'm a mother and even when another mom comes over


on Mothers day I say "happy mothers day" to her, because


its a day of RECOGNITION of mothers, not only your own,


ya know? Its just that of course it would be ESSPECIALLY your own mom.





Anyway, usually a husband helps the younger kids give mom


a present or a flower, but even now that our son is older, my


husband still brings me flowers and tells me that he's so


happy he chose me to be the mother of his children.





You sound like a really good person and a really good mom


and I'm really sorry but you chose a real vulgar jerk for a husband. I've never expected anything from my husband except for his love but I gotta tell you, if he did what yours did,


I would walk away thinking: "gee, thats the value he places


on all these years and everything I've done and given of myself; I am absolutely worth the same as the dog".





Wow, I think I appreciate you more than he does, and I don't even know you.....
Reply:I don't think this is a situation where anyone is wrong or right. It's just that everyone will have a different opinion of what is appropriate.





I believe that your husband, sons, daughters, step children should give you a Mother's Day card. As a single gay man, I have some women friends who have kids. Yet, I do not give them a card, because they are not my mother. I do wish them a Happy Mother's Day if I talk to them on that day and I ask them how their day went. So, I do not think your kids need to give a Mother's Day card to their Aunts or Grandmother.





Does this make me right and you wrong? No. People need to compromise. If I were your child and it made you happy for me to give a Mother's Day card to my Grandmother, I'd do it. Why? Because it makes you happy and her happy and one can never go wrong doing something that makes another person happy, can they?





Happy Mother's Day to you!
Reply:no, you are indeed your husband's mother. he has no respect for you, and he has taught that lack of respect to your son who didn't even wish his grandmother happy mother's day. Really, i'd go on strike until you got both a card and apology from your husband. no food, no laundry, no sex. hell, don't even bother going home until bed time. AND, don't give him anything for father's day, he is not your father, nor the father of any child you would own. make your son call your mother in the morning and apologize for not wishing her happy mother's day, and then ground his butt until he understands respect.