Need a little advice regarding Mothers day and kids without Mom?

I have my 2 nieces and nephews. I have had them here with me about a year and custody of them after the mom just walked out the door and never looked back. Did not even answer the petiton or show up to court.


They havent seen thier mother since Feb and yes I stopped visitation...well actually I told my sister to find a neutral place to have it and set up supervised visitation. She has yet to do this, call or anything. Visitation at my house was getting too hard as she would promise all these things only to come back the nest week with empty promises. It made me angry and I dont think I am in the best position to be doing visitation.


Anyway Mothers Day is coming and they have made cards and what nots in school.


I am having a hard time with the youngest. (5) She wants to save her card for her Mom. I told her ok and told her I would keep it safe for her.


She is having a really hard time with this and I am at a loss of what to tell her or what to do on Mothers day actually gets

Need a little advice regarding Mothers day and kids without Mom?
This is really a difficult situation, as you the adult, can see the damage mom has done.





I would suggest you help each of the children build a Mother's Holiday Box. It could be small like a cigar box or even jewelry box, but decorated by each child. Each holiday that comes, and mom doesn't....the children could put their gifts in "mom's box"....I believe this will allow them permission to hold on to the items they created for that particular day, but will also (down the road) allow them to better understand that you didn't stand in the way, but rather nurtured their loss. Should mom show up some day realizing what she lost, these creations will show her that her children maintained an unconditional love and also suffered disappointment due to her failure to follow through w/meeting their needs.





Two thumbs up to you auntie! You may not always get a pat on the back and might not get mentioned for saving these children, but you will receive the greatest gift of all, one day~
Reply:look~~ there is no easy way to handle this!!! I grew up w out a father and when i asked why he wasnt there my family told me the truth(sugar coated)!!!!! I think you should tell her the truth if you are shure the mother isnt going to return.





easier now then later...
Reply:I would help them make a small gift and card and tell them that you will put it aside for their mother for next time they see her. That way they can still be doing something for their mother and it is evident that it is not your fault that she is not there.
Reply:As a non-custodial mother (thru no fault of my own but lies told to courts by my own "mother" and her using the courts to "legally kidnap" my children), I give you kudos for wanting to do what is best.





I like the suggestion of the holiday box as was previously given. I have done everything I could over the last 4 years to keep in touch with my children and be a part of their lives as best I could, and often have had gifts that were meant for me, "taken and given" to Nanny by force. My children were forced to give the gifts they made at school to my mother.





My children want to come home, have voiced it several times, but as I stated previously, due to her lies, she has kept them from me for 4 years.





Do not sugar coat the truth, but tell them what you think they can handle.





I think that once the mom does realize what she has missed out on, and sees that you did not interfere, she will see what a blessing your children have had in having you as a surrogate mothering role model in their lives.





My thoughts and prayers will be with you. If you would like additional ideas and suggestions on how you can help the kids, please feel free to add me to your yahoo and just put "yahoo answers and moms" in the request.